Relationship Satisfaction can, of course, be assessed in various ways. Fundamentally, it is simply a matter of how satisfied you are in your relationship. But that can sometimes be difficult to assess or measure.
There are so many factors that play into a relationship, and it is possible to overlook some of them, and miss that there is an issue brewing. Until one day it blows up, as if out of nowhere. And by the time that happens, the issue may have become a lot harder to address than if you would have been on to it early.
To avoid overlooking some of the relationship factors, it can help to separate the relationship as a whole into smaller chunks. By assessing one factor at a time, and then looking at the overall picture, you may find it easier to make a fair assessment of your relationship satisfaction.
The wheel of relationship satisfaction
The wheel of relationship satisfaction below is one way of looking at the different factors that are part of a relationship. By clicking on the image, you can download a pdf copy of the wheel, and print it out. Then you can shade each sector, according to how satisfied you are with that particular aspect of your relationship.
By doing this, you will get a view of your satisfaction with your relationship as a whole. You will also be able to identify which aspects of your relationship you may need to put some extra attention into, to avoid that an issue grows and possibly one day becomes unmanageable.
If you find it difficult to figure out what percentage each sector should be given, you may find it helpful to use the Relationship Satisfaction Calculator further down the page.
As a rule of thumb, you will probably want all sectors to show at least 80% satisfaction, and preferably more. If any one sector reflects a satisfaction of less than 50%, that most likely indicates that you have some important issues to address in that area. If that is the case, don’t put it off, find out more about Marriage and Relationship Counselling and/or about Relationship Coaching, or just contact me today so we can have a chat about it!
The Relationship Satisfaction Calculator has been constructed based on the kind of issues that I have helped couples address over the last three decades.
Different couples have different issues to deal with obviously, and you may find that some of the questions below are completely irrelevant to your situation. Nevertheless, do answer each question to the best of your ability. They may be more important than you have realised. You may even discover something that is highly relevant, but you have never considered before.
How to use the Relationship Satisfaction Calculator
Each sector in the Wheel of Relationship Satisfaction above is represented as ten questions for you to answer. Based on your answers, the calculator works out your satisfaction percentage for one sector at a time.
If you have printed out a copy of the Wheel (by clicking on the image above), you can then shade each sector with these percentages, to get a view of your overall relationship satisfaction.
As you can see, all questions are asked in the form of “How satisfied are you with…?”
Rate your satisfaction for each question on a scale from 0 to 10, where
0 = “Not at all satisfied”, 10 = “Totally satisfied”.
Finances & Money matters
Home chores & organisation
Time apart & activities
Time together & activities
Intimacy, affection & sex
What to do next
If you have found that your overall relationship satisfaction is over 80% across all sectors of the Wheel – Congratulations! Arrange for a celebration with your partner. And perhaps talk about what it would take to reach 100% all around.
If you have found that some sectors of the Wheel have too low satisfaction percentages for your liking, talk to your partner about those aspects of your relationship, and try to come up with ways that you can improve your ratings.
If you come up against challenges that you don’t know how to resolve, don’t put it off to another day, find out more about Marriage and Relationship Counselling and/or about Relationship Coaching, or just contact me as soon as possible and let me help you find ways of increasing your relationship satisfaction.
Finally, as you have gone through the questions above, you may have discovered that there are individual issues for one (or both) of you that may need some attention. Not everything in your life is about your relationship after all. You may want to consider personal counselling/therapy or personal life coaching.
You may also want to browse some of the articles on my blog about relationships and other matters. And perhaps visit my Meaningful Life Coaching website, which is dedicated to that subject specifically.